The Week That Was

pictured, top to bottom:
1. dress up - criminal M&M meets the russian police
2. a rose from jude and morai
3. summer sewing for neve
4. thrift store treasures
5. a trip to IKEA means a frame for my valentine's gift
6. bouncy balls remain this week's hottest toy
7. new play kitchen!
8. a visit to the sugar shack
9. the olden day maple syrup way
10. still winter

One to Two

When you welcome your first child, everyone warns you about how much your life is about to change, 

"I hope you've had lots of sleep, because you won't have much for the next 25 years!" 

"Well, your days of showering in private are over."

"How do you feel about pee soaked mattresses? That's too bad, because you're going to have one."

And so on. 

What society doesn't prepare you for, is the life flip that happens when you go from having one child to having two. 

Perhaps it was just me... Maybe it was our birth spacing... Could be that we went from having one really easy going kid, to having one really easy going kid with a feisty sister. More likely though, I think that the first year with a second child is just BRUTAL. 

One child is a PANTLOAD of work (literally and figuratively), but the first year with two is like treading water (and doing laundry, and making breakfast, and climbing the stairs), with a toddler clinging to your ankles and a baby in your arms... 

It was like Neve was born and on her first night at home, she and Judah met in his bedroom closet and made a secret treatise along these lines:

We solemnly swear,

1. That we will never nap simultaneously.

2. That we will always lick each other's toys and faces when we are ill, to ensure one of us is sick at all times. 

3. That one of us will always be in mom and dad's bed. 

4. That mom will never use the bathroom unattended. 

5. That dad will always be awoken by one of us before dawn and that we will ensure he reads 10 Sandra Boynton books before breakfast.

6. That one of us will always attempt escape at the library.

7. That no trip to the grandparents shall go without a screaming finale. 

8. That we will never willingly share anything with each other, and that whatever you are playing with is exactly what I need, right now. 

9. That any moment we accidentally get along, should end with us banging foreheads. 

10. That the only music we will agree on will be nauseating, third-rate, nursery rhymes sung by puppets. 

 For the next 12 months, they obeyed their own laws. Then, one day without notice, they started to play together. We pretended not to see. We avoided direct eye contact. We hid in a closet and wept with relief. 

Now, Judah insists on being the one to run upstairs when Neve wakes from a nap. 

Now, Neve calls for Judah when she wants someone to play in the couch fort. 

Now, Mom has tiny moments of reprieve. A chance to sit back and watch... and imagine what it might be like to have three. 

If you give a child your bagel...

If you give a child your bagel, she's going to get your cold.

Once she has your cold, she'll probably get a runny nose.

After her nose starts running, she'll refuse to use a kleenex.

To thoroughly refuse your kleenex, she'll bang her head on the floor.

Banging her head on the floor may bring about a fever, so she'll need some Tylenol.

Once the Tylenol is working, she'll feel like she was never sick, so she'll have a dance party on your bed, at 3 am. 

After the dance party, she'll be thirsty so she'll want a boob of milk. 

Boob milk is so yummy, she'll want to drink for much of the night, while showing off amazing feats flexibility; simultaneously kicking you in the throat with one foot and her father in the groin with the other. 

Acrobatics are tiring, so she'll probably need a short sleep. 

Once she wakes up, she's going to need a fresh diaper. 

Discovering for the 2500th time that bare bums are better, she'll try to escape her fate. 

In her retreat, she'll likely bang into a wall. 

Banging into walls is distressing, so she'll probably need a cuddle...and a snack.

Bagels make for excellent snacks. 

And if you give a child your bagel...

She's going to get your cold.

A Christmas Letter

Dear friends,
It's that time of year again - time to mute the Barenaked Ladies pretending to be non-unionized elves time! So sorry about my lack of correspondence over the last few months. I've been very busy looking for lost library books and bouncy balls beneath our couch.

I know you're all dying to hear what's been happening in our little neck of the woods, so here goes.

Luke is still in school. For those of you counting, this is his 7th year of university. We're all very hopeful he'll actually decide to leave after this degree. And by all, I mean our bank and me. We moved his desk into our windowless basement. I can tell he's getting smarter the paler he becomes.

Judah is three. He likes to lick his sister and put things in his nose. His favourite store is the Bulk Barn. He still prefers not to wear pants. He will, however, put on pants if you promise to take him to the Bulk Barn.

Neve is a month away from being one. She bites. She missed the class where they had, "Don't bite the breast that feeds you" unit. She walks, she talks, she does our bookkeeping. A fabulous addition.

I was supposed to return to work next month. I decided it would be more fun not to, so I quit my job. I am now a full time child delayer. Anytime a child asks me to do something, I say "One second". I'm really good. I think I may be promoted soon.

We also have a new member in the clan - Blueberry the Beta fish. He's great; quiet, eats very little, doesn't throw toys or require an RESP. A perfect child really. I may have a few more. Fish that is.

Well that's all for now. I promise to be a better correspondent in the New Year (resolutions and all that, permitting).

Much love,
J

There was a time...

There was a time when my image of parenting included a sleeping child and a rocking chair. Seriously. 


There was a time when I could go a whole day without someone throwing up on me.


There was a time when I would consider having to get up to pee and then going back to sleep for five or six hours a "bad" night's sleep.


There was a time when I could go out for dinner without wondering whether my spawn was at that moment peeing on someone else's furniture, or sucking on an animal's foot, or testing the volume capacity of their scream.


There was a time when I could shower every day.


There was a time when a seven o'clock dinner didn't seem like a crazy, radical idea.


There was a time when I could sit and read a book- and it wasn't Walter the Farting Dog.


There was a time when I could nap whenever I wanted.


There was a time when I could choose vacation destinations without considering their splash pad offerings.


There was a time when I could have a bath without a shark and a tug boat floating by. 


There was a time when I could play music more loudly, talk more loudly, make...tacos...more loudly.


There was a time when I didn't automatically presume I had been peed on when I felt warmth anywhere on my body.


There was a time when I could read an email and send a reply all in one sitting.


There was a time when I had a lot of time to myself, to do whatever I wanted - and it was lovely.


But this is even better.


Now I get to experience play all over again.  Today we went on two lion hunts. 


Now I see joy in new things - pine cones, trains, the moon. 


Now I think harder about how the decisions I make impact the future, because the future is you.


Now I understand what it is to truly give of yourself, because when I give, you thrive.


It's not always easy, in fact it's often terribly hard, but it is good. For that, I have you to thank. 

I'm so glad you're mine.

Happy 7th Anniversary Luke. 

If you asked me to do it all over again, I'd say yes. 

2005 

 Just a couple of hot kids tying the knot.

2006

Back when we had a social life. 

2007

The year we decided to invade the capital for an extended stay.

 

2008

The year all of our friends got married.
That got us feeling romantic...

2009

And before we knew it, along came Judah.

2010

Awww, we make cute babies.

2011

Let's do it again. 

2012

Perfect present tense. 

Challenges and Triumphs

Hi!


We're alive! It's been a dog's age since I've written, and quite honestly I thought about ditching the whole effort a few times, but I'm back. Why? Because I'm pretty sure this is the closest thing my kids will ever get to a baby book / scrapbook / childhood memorabilia of any sort. So there you have it kids. Proof that I loved you as children... no guarantees about your adolescent years.


So here's how things are...


Neve is almost five months old. She is a firecracker. She smiles with her whole face, she vocalizes every emotion, she reaches out and grabs life...and then she sticks it in her mouth. We are all madly in love.

Judah is almost three. This leaves me feeling ancient. How is he three already? The kid could ostensibly start jr. kindergarten one year and a bit from now. That is if I could bear to part with him. Instead I think I'll lock him in a tower with a soccer ball and some Mercer Mayer books. I think he'd be fine with that.

Luke is done year two of engineering. I am no longer a Western widow. Instead he is doing a co-op in Tillsonburg (my back still aches when I hear that word...get it?) and commuting an hour each way. This commute has left me car-less...or as I like to think of it now, car-free.

At first we hadn't even considered the possibility of not buying a second vehicle for the summer. Obviously I couldn't survive without a car!!! Then I began to feel the creeping protestantenvironmentalist (that's a word right?) guilt. If I talked the green talk, I had better start walking the green walk, especially if Luke was burning enough carbon to put another hole in the ozone. So we (Jude, Neve and I) gave up the car cold turkey. Although my in-laws have been their wonderful selves and offered one of their cars on days when we need one, we've been doing really quite ok. Giving up the car has been my triumph of the season.

• We walk to the park and the library almost EVERY DAY. 
• We have taste tested popsicles from every variety store within a five kilometer radius. 
• We know the neighbourhood cats. 
• We wave to the lab who sits sentinel on the upper floor of the old Victorian three blocks away. 
• We notice when new plants bloom. 
• We stop and smell the roses...literally...like every four houses. It's glorious.

Now, to fulfill the promise of this blog post title, I'll give you a point form run down of some recent challenges.

• Judah likes to hug Neve's head. Tightly.
• Neve doesn't like having her head hugged, tightly or otherwise. 
• Neve likes to be attached to my hip.
• My hip is not made of velcro.
• Judah asks for pie and candy for every meal. Still refuses to eat vegetables.
• Pie and candy always seems to get cut from the menu plan
• Judah will only pee in toilets that meet his exacting standards, bushes apparently do not meet this criteria...even in emergencies. 
• Neve can roll from back to front and front to back...but she prefers for you to do it for her. She will scream to tell you this. If unheeded she will take drastic measures and do it herself.
• Judah thinks sunscreen and toothpaste are infected with the plague, that's the only explanation for his sudden (dramatic) aversion to both.
• Judah is on a story kick, wherein he asks you to tell him a story at least 50 times a day, for real. And if he doesn't like the plot he'll say, "I don't yike dat story. Tell me another one story."

And now, photos! 


See Neve, I took pictures of you even though you were the second child...