The Potty Training Chronicles: Day 1

08:00 - The night time diaper is removed and Toddler is thrilled to learn today will be a primarily commando day. Partying ensues; cheerios are eaten with vigor.

08:30 - The maternal unit sits Toddler on the potty and allows him to watch 10 minutes of Winnie the Pooh in exchange for his sedentary pot crouching. He cooperates with only slight grimaces.

08:40 - The pot remains empty. The maternal unit seems thrilled nonetheless. A Smartie is proffered. Toddler is inwardly shocked and also thrilled; tries to remain composed. 

09:20 - A diaper squelches Toddler's plan to air out for the entire day. An outing with the maternal unit's maternal unit is in the offing. 

09:22 -  Toddler takes cover behind the loveseat and fills diaper while he has the chance.

09:24 - The maternal unit appears slightly chagrined at the fast and effective diaper filling. A new diaper is plastered to Toddler.

11:00 - Toddler and maternal until return home. Toddler is tired- the maternal unit likes her white couch; the diaper lives to tell the tale of nap time.

12:30 - Toddler awakens from morning respite- diaper is sufficiently wet. Maternal unit encourages another bout of pot crouching- Toddler encourages another movie. A compromise is reached.

12:38 - The pot remains empty, nonetheless a Smartie is given. Toddler has mercy on chocolate-deprived house cat and gives it to her.  

15:30 - After another shrouded outing, this time to the store for provisions and a picnic lunch on playground territory, the diaper is once again ditched. Toddler happily sits on the potty for a long time. A red ring forms on Toddler's butt. Toddler doesn't care. Toddler just wants candy.

16:00 - The pot is still empty. The maternal unit is still thrilled. Apparently it's quantity not quality she is after.

16:05 - "Big boy underpants" are placed on Toddler. The freedom of movement is bewitching. Toddler does a dance on the coffee table.

18:00 - Maternal unit's parental units come for dinner, marvel at "big boy underpants". Toddler escapes behind loveseat while soup is eaten. "Big boy underpants" are inexplicably soaked.

18:05 - Maternal unit encourages toddler to inform her of underpant soaking prior to doing it- this seems counterproductive to Toddler.

18:06 - New "bog boy underpants" are donned.

19:15 - Toddler is taken to a store in "big boy underpants". Paternal unit suggests padding Toddler's car restraint with grocery bags. Maternal unit suggests giving him a chance. Toddler crosses legs.

20:00 - Toddler arrives home with dry underpants. Much rejoicing ensues.

20:20 - Bathtime. Toddler can finally pee under the cover of water. Sweet relief.

20:40 - Toddler is once more swathed in a diaper and placed in sleeping quarters. Sleep overcomes him quickly. Day one of mission was exhausting.


  1. Haha, this was such a funny post! I can't wait to hear how the rest of the week goes. I have confidence in him!!

  2. I am laughing at the thought of your mortified 13-year-old son finding this on the internet, years from now! Tee hee!