If you give a child your bagel...

If you give a child your bagel, she's going to get your cold.

Once she has your cold, she'll probably get a runny nose.

After her nose starts running, she'll refuse to use a kleenex.

To thoroughly refuse your kleenex, she'll bang her head on the floor.

Banging her head on the floor may bring about a fever, so she'll need some Tylenol.

Once the Tylenol is working, she'll feel like she was never sick, so she'll have a dance party on your bed, at 3 am. 

After the dance party, she'll be thirsty so she'll want a boob of milk. 

Boob milk is so yummy, she'll want to drink for much of the night, while showing off amazing feats flexibility; simultaneously kicking you in the throat with one foot and her father in the groin with the other. 

Acrobatics are tiring, so she'll probably need a short sleep. 

Once she wakes up, she's going to need a fresh diaper. 

Discovering for the 2500th time that bare bums are better, she'll try to escape her fate. 

In her retreat, she'll likely bang into a wall. 

Banging into walls is distressing, so she'll probably need a cuddle...and a snack.

Bagels make for excellent snacks. 

And if you give a child your bagel...

She's going to get your cold.

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