Well, we're entering night three of our night-weaning project.
I hoped this post was going to say:
It's going soooo great! She's sleeping, we're sleeping! Wow. So great.
Instead it has to say:
It's going TERRIBLY! She loves boobs! No one is sleeping! Wow. So bad.
I nurse Neve to sleep as usual. I explain that I will nurse her now, but after this, the show's over until morning.
She replies with an emphatic, "Yep."
1:30 am - Neve wakes up. Luke goes to the floor bed in her room to comfort her. She takes this as an insult to her intelligence.
"You have no breasts. You do not lactate. Get the heck out!" She screams.
1:45 am - I can't take the angry screaming. I go in to help Luke. Neve is delighted to see her portable dairy factory is up and running. I explain that it is not nursing time, it is sleepy time. Neve becomes very angry at me. We had read about this. Anger is ok. She is not scared. She is not being abandoned. She is being snuggled and sung to by two lovely parents. She gets angrier.
2:00 am- We decide to take the party to our bed. It's bigger and we think she may sleep with a change of scenery. We are wrong
2:01-3:30 am - Neve is no longer angry, but she is wide awake. She thrashes about the bed. She cracks her forehead into my nose. She kicks the blankets off. She tries to find a boob in Luke's shirt. She realizes I either need a chest wax, or she has the wrong parent. She tries to find a boob in my shirt. She plays with a bottle full of water.
3:31 am - Judah wakes up and calls for Luke. Luke leaves to sleep in Judah's room. Tries to contain his happy dance as he does.
3:32-3:45 am - Neve continues to thrash about before finally falling asleep at the end of the bed, between my feet - butt in the air.
7:30 am - Judah, who has now slept for close to 12 hours, comes to wake us up for the day.
7:31 am- Night Two - I drag my butt around like a good zombie-mom.
11:25 pm- Neve wakes up, after being asleep for a few hours. I nurse her. This is technically cheating as I had committed to not nursing between 11-6. I don't care. I naively believe this will buy me a better night's sleep.
4:00 am- Neve wakes up again. Luke brings her from her floor bed to our room. I tell her it's sleepy time, not nursing time. She becomes angry once again. She thrashes around the bed. We offer her her bottle of water. She drinks some. She belches. She laughs. She turns the bottle upside down beside my back. My back becomes wet and cold. She thrashes around some more. We force ourselves to sleep, intermittently, through her horizontal zumba routine.
6:30 am- Judah wakes up and calls for Luke. Luke goes to get his one hour of uninterrupted sleep.
6:45 am- I wake to see Neve finally asleep, again at the foot of the bed.
7:20 am- Neve wakes up. It is light out. I tell Neve she can nurse now. She has a couple of swigs and then falls back asleep.
9:30 am- Mommy and Neve wake up. New record- latest sleep in with the least sleep.
As I said, It's going TERRIBLY! She loves boobs! No one is sleeping! Wow. So bad.
If tonight is a repeat performance, I may have to revert to the all-night nurseathon. I either sacrifice my boobs or my sanity. Long-term, I'll probably want my sanity... probably.