Why everyone needs a kid (or two)

Despite the fact that people who don't have children apparently have higher life satisfaction than those who do (likely based on a study by some scientist watching parents remove their children from licking the sugar bags in the grocery store), there are many sound and logical reasons to have a child. 


Here are a few such reasons from my recent personal experience.


1. They keep you modest.
Tonight, as I made dinner, Judah approached me, put a hand on my stomach and said, "Another baby in dere?" 
I gave birth two and a half weeks ago kid, cut me some slack!!!


2. They encourage you to interact with people you wouldn't normally.
While bagging our groceries, Judah proceeded to hit the advance button on the conveyor belt next to ours, flattening the Wonder Bread of the woman checking out behind us. This provided us with an opportunity to make eye contact and smile at a stranger...while apologizing profusely and attempting to fluff her bread. Yay for meeting new people! 


3. They spawn creative thinking.
When your toddler demands six stories about pie every morning, and you really don't want to get out of bed so you want to comply, you get creative with the plot lines. Pie eating contests become the storylines of novices. Try stories about pies in outer space, pies made by farm animals and pies with relatives accidentally baked inside- that's creativity!


4. They help you do everything faster.
Going pee, taking a bath, getting dressed, making a phone call; none of these things are done faster than when one or even two children are wailing just outside the door, or in the room...or on your hip. Sure, your blood pressure may jump to unhealthy levels, but just think of that as your cardio for the day. Kids also prevent heart disease. 


5. They save you heaps of money.
This may seem counter-intuitive, after all, don't you have to feed, clothe and entertain these small creatures? Well sure, but you'll be so busy doing these things you won't have time to: 
a.) Look in a mirror - money saved on cosmetic purchases
b.) Care about what you're wearing, so long as it doesn't smell like a bodily function - no more cash wasted on clothes!
c.) Have a social life, outside of meetings with other parents which revolve around a plate of goldfish crackers and discussions about diaper residue - sushi savings in the bank!
d.) Eat a diet of anything other than the remains of your toddler's meals which you dutifully gobble up while folding laundry and corralling mega blocks with your feet- add up the bucks, baby! 


6. They remind you that life is about so much more than yourself. 
When the last thing your two year old says while falling asleep is, "I love you, mama"...
When you find yourself singing the lullabies your mother sang to you and think that, one day, this baby may sing them to her daughter...
When you wake up in the middle of the night and take a moment to realize that tiny bundle of warmth next to your chest is an entire, perfect human being...
When you see the joy in your parents' eyes as they survey this awesome being that is their grandchild...
When you watch as brother insists on giving his baby "brother" (sister) a kiss goodnight...


Then you know it's all worth it; all about so much more than you. Instead, it's about something vastly better - them.